Jokes thread

[BlackDragon37]

So, Jermaine Jackson has legally changed his name to Jermaine Jacksun for 'artistic reasons'.

What a cont.
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Scientists have finally discovered why the World didn't end last December.

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse had nothing to ride on thanks to the UK's beef industry.
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Katie Price has announced she is pregnant again.

Just think, kiddo; out of 200 million sperm, you were the unluckiest.
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On hearing the news Katie Price is pregnant again Frankie Boyle has sent her a thank you letter and started planning a new tour.
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So Oscar Pistorius was using bodybuilding supplements..

They must have been from Ikea because the body he built was missing two legs.
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Edward Scissorhands.

The man you want to finger your ex.

 

[K0rN_b4LL]

Edward Scissorhands.

The man you want to finger your ex.

Either him or Wolverine-

 

[FleshMasher]

A punk with green mohawk, holes in his pants and all, sits down on a bench in the park next to an old man.
The old man stares at the punk for 10 minutes straight.
Finally, irritated, the punk asks the old man:
"What's your problem old man? Did you never do any crazy shit in your youth?"
The old man answers:
"Oh i did. I fucked a parrot once, and now i wonder if you are my son?"

 

[BlackDragon37]

So Katie Price is pregnant yet again?

She's spouting out more bastards than a Tourette's sufferer.
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It's been a terrible night at the Oscars. There is blood all over the bathroom and no one is home.
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What's got 2 legs and kills women?

The Pistorius brothers.

 

[BlackDragon37]

Either him or Wolverine-

Wolverine has control over his sharp tools.