Jokes thread
- Thread starter Blade_edge
- Start date
BlackDragon37
[12] Conqueror
My wife came back from town with Kerry Katona and Katie Price.
I said "You silly cow, I said get me a pair of slippers".
I said "You silly cow, I said get me a pair of slippers".
BlackDragon37
[12] Conqueror
So here it is again - November the 5th, Bonfire night.
The one night of the year when the whole of the UK comes together with the lighting of bonfires, the letting off of fireworks and the burning of an effigy of Guy Fawkes, in celebration of the last time the British government found weapons of mass destruction.
---
Congratulations on India being the first country to send a rocket to Mars.
Before having a sewage system.
The one night of the year when the whole of the UK comes together with the lighting of bonfires, the letting off of fireworks and the burning of an effigy of Guy Fawkes, in celebration of the last time the British government found weapons of mass destruction.
---
Congratulations on India being the first country to send a rocket to Mars.
Before having a sewage system.
BlackDragon37
[12] Conqueror
My niece told me she wanted a rabbit for her birthday so I offered to send her one via special delivery.
"Well, it'll need lots of stamps!" She said.
It was great advice. Now it fits perfectly in the envelope.
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Two 19 year old girls are getting slagged off in the papers today for winning a fancy dress competition dressed as the 'Twin Towers'.
I wasn't offended. I went dressed as Osama Bin Laden and fucked both of them.
"Well, it'll need lots of stamps!" She said.
It was great advice. Now it fits perfectly in the envelope.
---
Two 19 year old girls are getting slagged off in the papers today for winning a fancy dress competition dressed as the 'Twin Towers'.
I wasn't offended. I went dressed as Osama Bin Laden and fucked both of them.
BlackDragon37
[12] Conqueror
"I have a good body, my tits are nice, I shave my pussy, I suck your cock, I let you fuck me in the ass, and yet it's not enough, is it? You sit there watching porn with the sound off on the computer! Why? Why do you do this? Do you think I don't know what you are doing? What can you get out of those computer images of porn that you can't get out of me? Go on! Answer me!"
"Silence," I replied.
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The ex-girlfriend I ditched at the altar six months ago marched up to me in the supermarket last night.
"Bastard," she yelled in my face, before grabbing the milk from my trolley and pouring it over my head. "This is from me, you cunt."
"Oh c'mon, you're being ridiculous now," I said, wiping my face. "That could be from ANY cow."
"Silence," I replied.
---
The ex-girlfriend I ditched at the altar six months ago marched up to me in the supermarket last night.
"Bastard," she yelled in my face, before grabbing the milk from my trolley and pouring it over my head. "This is from me, you cunt."
"Oh c'mon, you're being ridiculous now," I said, wiping my face. "That could be from ANY cow."