Jokes thread

i just want you all to know that half of these jokes are ban-worthy level terrible.

what do you call a lesbian dinosaur?

lickalotapus

what do you call a gay dinosaur?

megasoreass

how can you tell if your wife is dead?

well...the sex stays the same but the dishes tend to pile up.

why do mexicans never eat tamales on christmas eve?

so they have something to unwrap on christmas day!

why couldn't helen keller drive?

because she was a woman.

um...digging deep here...

what do you say to a black jew?

go to the back of the gas chamber!

what is the difference between jelly and jam?

well i can't jelly my cock into a 9 year old's asshole.

why don't they teach drivers ed and sex ed on the same day in Afghanistan?

the camels would get too tired.

um........time to get dirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrty...

how do you make a three year old cry twice?

wipe your bloody cock off on his teddy bear!

after you are done, what does his face look like when you put him in a wood chipper to dispose of the evidence?

i don't know either...i was too busy jerking off to look.

what is the best part about having a 12 year old girlfriend?

you can wet her hair, flip her over, and pretend she is your 10 year old boyfriend.

what is the first thing you do after molesting a deaf and dumb kid?

break his fingers so he can't tell on you.



ok i'm done...and going to hell.
 
I just saw a group on Facebook - "We were given: Two hands to hold. Two legs to walk. Two eyes to see. Two ears to listen. But why only one heart? Because the other was given to someone else. For us to find."

Going by that theory we would also need to find: A liver, a small intestine, a diaphragm...

And a penis.
 
How does a turkish woman get pregnant?
Her Man wanks onto the table and the flies do the rest.

Why do turkish boys get a beard at, like, ten?
So they can use their mom's passport to get into the disco.

What's green, rectangular and hurts when it flies against your head?
A Billard table.

What's yellow and can't swim?
An excavator.
And why?
It has only one arm.

A gay goes to the butcher and orders a salami, the butcher asks: Sliced or whole?
Gay: Do i look like a piggy bank?

What's a bulge in a gas pipe?
Jew escapee.
 
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