Jokes thread

When she asked me if I liked her, I said, "No."

As I stared into her tearful eyes, I said, "You didn't ask me if I love you, though."

"Do you love me?" she said, as her face lit up.

"No," I replied.
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Ethiopia announced that it will ban pornography on the internet.

That makes it the first country to use a porn filter before using a water filter.
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Daily Mail online: Victoria Beckham reveals mountain of shoes she's donating for The Philippines.

Because a girl's gotta look her best, crawling through rubble.
 
Alex.J walks into the bar and the bartender says, "why the long face?"

Alex.J looks in the mirror and realizes he's now a horse and replies "I"LL FUCKING KILL YOU!!!"
 
Alex.J walks into the bar with jumper cables.

The bartender says, you can have a drink, but ya better not start anything
 
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