Jokes thread

I like it when I call the tech support and it's an Indian guy.

It's such a relief knowing that there's at least one of them not gangraping someone.
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How many Elliot Rodgers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, Elliot Rodgers can't screw anything.
 
Why do girls talk too much? Because they have four lips.

Why do guys think too much? Because they have two heads.
 
A new Michael Jackson album has been released despite his death five years ago.

Just because he was both black and white doesn't mean it's okay for his record company to milk him like a fucking cow.
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The king of Spain has abdicated.

Another Juan bites the dust.
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The difference between pray and prey can be several years of therapy for an altar boy.
 
Say what you like about Muslims, but those long beards really tickle your balls when they're sucking your cock.

And that's just the women!
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Why do midgets make shit parents?

Because they struggle to put food on the table.
 
My wife walked into my room last night and said-

"Take off my skirt."
So I took off her skirt.

"Take off my shoes."
So I took off her shoes."

"Now take off my bra and panties."
So I took them off too.

Then she looked me straight in the eye and said-
"I don't ever wanna see you wearing my stuff again!"

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Science will fly you to the moon.

Religion will fly you into buildings.
 
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