Jokes thread

[Yue_Zhongtiqin]

A man is washing outside Naked on a sunny day. A woman calls the police. He gets arrested.
weeks later, The woman that called the police on the man sees HER washing on a sunny day naked. In an attempt for Revenge he called the police and gets arrested for being a peeping tom. DOUBLE STANDARDS FTW!

 

[K0rN_b4LL]

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
When you have Alzheimer's,
......
Roses are red,

 

[BlackDragon37]

Apparently Alzheimer's is hereditary. Both my mum and dad suffer from it now, which scares me because apparently Alzheimer's is hereditary

 

[K0rN_b4LL]

So a buddy sent me a message on my phone this morning. When I opened it there was nothing on it so I got confused, suddenly I heard "Attention! Attention! The owner of this phone has been known to periodically take it in the ass!" blaring really, really loudly coming from my phone. Thank God I was alone in my car.

 

[Synraii]

Japanese banks have been hit almost as hard as American banks:
The Oragami bank has folded and we hear the Sumo Bank has gone belly up too. Bonsai Bank plans to cut back on some of its branches. Karaoke bank is for sale and going for a song. Meanwhile, staff at Karate Bank got the chop and analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank, where workers fear they may get a raw deal.