Jokes thread

Why did the plane crash into the field?
The pilot was a loaf of bread.
Dunno if this was posted. It's my favourite.

Oh yeah! Elephant series of jokes! You have to read them in order. They're better told, and are a guaranteed "wat"

How many elephants can you fit in a mini cooper?
4. two in the front, two in the back.
How many giraffes can you fit in a mini cooper?
none, its full of elephants.
How can you tell when there are two elephants in your refrigerator?
when you close the door and hear giggling.
How can you tell when there are three elephants in your refrigerator?
the door won't close.
How can you tell when there are four elephants in your refrigerator?
there's an empty mini cooper parked out on the lawn.
 
"Knock, knock," I said to my blind mate.

"Who's there?" He asked.

"Doctor."

"Doctor who?"

"Correct!" I giggled.

"I see what you did there," he replied.

And that's when I reported him for benefit fraud.
 
I'm a quantum physicist myself. One of the bad things about it is that it makes you a pretty bad lover. When you find the right position, you can't find the momentum, and when you find the momentum, you can't find the right position.
 
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