Jokes thread

racist and homophobic jokes are gogogogogogogogo. this coming from a split 4 ways multiracial homo. if you can't take a joke, then GTFO of the joke thread.

i'll even break the ice:

a guy walks into a bar, and only one other guy is sitting there. dude sits down next to the other guy and buys him a drink, then another, then another. they become quite chummy. after a while the guy looks at his new friend and says, "well, it looks like you are getting laid tonight, my friend." the other guy turns, surprised, and says, "i am? are you a psychic or something?" the first guy replies, "psychic, oh hell no. i'm just stronger and faster than you are."

ok another...

a chinese guy walks into a bar, the bartender is black. he walks up, slaps $4 down and says, "gimme a jiigger, nigger!"

the bartender, taken aback, says, "oh hell no. you did not just...man what the fuck it is 2011. we don't say that kind of shit. in fact, lets see how you like it!" he takes the chinese man's $4, walks to the front door, and tells the chinese man to stand behind the bar. he then walks up to the bar, slaps down the same $4 and says, "yo, gimme a drink, chink!"

the chinese guy looks at him, squints his eyes, and screams, "GET THE FUCK OUT WE DON'T SERVE NIGGERS IN MY BAR!"
 
Cool, I refrained from the gay and racist jokes cause I didnt wanna get anyones panties in a bunch

and away we go.........

What does an ambulance and a gay guy have in common??
They both takes stiffs to the rear and go whoo whoo whoo!!!

What is the difference between a gay guy and a freezer?
Freezer doesnt fart when you pull the meat out!

Why should you never hit a mexcian on a bike?
Could be your bike!

Whats the difference between a black guy and a pile o shit?
The pile o shit will eventually turn white and stop stinking!!

What do you call 4 mexicans in quick sand
Quatro Cinco! (that ones a thinker)

What do you call an ethiopian with an afro?
Q-tip! or Microphone (I like q-tip better)

I got really racists ones that are a lot worse. But I aint tryin to get this white boys ass kicked!!

HRD
 
lobo said:
a chinese guy walks into a bar, the bartender is black. he walks up, slaps $4 down and says, "gimme a jiigger, nigger!"

the bartender, taken aback, says, "oh hell no. you did not just...man what the fuck it is 2011. we don't say that kind of shit. in fact, lets see how you like it!" he takes the chinese man's $4, walks to the front door, and tells the chinese man to stand behind the bar. he then walks up to the bar, slaps down the same $4 and says, "yo, gimme a drink, chink!"

the chinese guy looks at him, squints his eyes, and screams, "GET THE FUCK OUT WE DON'T SERVE NIGGERS IN MY BAR!"
Click to expand...
I laughed out loud. As I don't do this often, I deemed it a special event and as such tomorrow will be a federal holiday.
 
Daddy, daddy, wake up daddy, you forgot to take your sleeping pills.

----------------------

Man 1: So after nine years of silence you have promised to answer one question. Is that right?

Man 2: Yes.
 
Little Johnny goes to school, and the teacher says, 'Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?'
Little Johnny waves his hand, 'Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!'
Miss Rogers:'All right, little Johnny, what is your multi-syllable word?'
Little Johnny says, 'Mas-tur-bate.'
Miss Rogers smiles and says, 'Wow, little Johnny, that's a mouthful.'
Little Johnny says, 'No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob"

HRD
 
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