Jokes thread

[Tyberius]

"It was recess and the pre-schoolers came in. The teacher asked Susie what she did today. ''Well, I played in the sandbox,'' she said. The teacher said, ''If you can spell sand, I'll give you a fresh-baked cookie.'' So Susie did. Then Billy came in and the teacher asked what he did. ''I played in the sandbox with Susie,'' he said. ''If you can spell sand, I'll give you a cookie,'' the teacher said. So Billy did. Then the little Russian boy said, ''Well, I wanted to play in the sandbox, but Billy and Susie were throwing rocks at me.'' The teacher said, ''Well, that sounds like discrimination. If you can spell that, I'll give you a cookie.'"

 

[Mitalius]

Your mother's like a "Happy Meal" small, cheap and greasy.

 

[Pocky-Yoshi]

What do you call 2 filipino pilots?

A pair of pliers.

This joke is very offensive because filipinos for instance calls forty-five pesos: porty-pive pesos. I on the other hand, am not bothered too much by trivial stuff such as this. In fact, I found racist jokes like a bee person pretty intriguing.

 

[BlackDragon37]

Subway is similar to prostitution. You pay other people to do your wife's job.

 

[lobo]

what do you call a black guy in a suit and tie?

branch manager.

how many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

none; they can't change a god damn thing.

why couldn't helen keller drive?

because she was a woman.

what is the first thing you should do after molesting a deaf and dumb kid?

break his fingers so he can't tell the police.

ok...

a super hot guy is jogging down the beach, and he comes across a woman in the sand by the pier. the woman is in an electric wheelchair powered by an air tube, as she has no arms or legs. the man stops his jog to wish the arm and leg-less woman a good day.

"sir," the woman says, "can you help me out please?"

"of course," says the man.

"well i am almost thirty years old and have never been kissed." feeling bad, the man kisses her. she then tells him, "i've never been held in a man's strong arms either." slightly annoyed, the man decides to be nice and picks up the woman and holds her. she looks up, hopefully, into his eyes and says, "you know what? i've never been fucked."

the guy carries her down the pier, throws her into the water and yells, "well you're fucked now, bitch!"