Jokes thread

[BlackDragon37]

On a scale of the McCanns to Josef Fritzl, how good are you at keeping your daughter in the house?

 

[lobo]

OOOOHHHHH!!!!

You know he didn't die of a heart attack right?
He died from an allergic reaction to 6 year old nuts!
No wait, he was at a chinese resturant and choked on the cream of Sum-Yung-Boi!
No, no, now I remember. They found him in the children's ward having a stroke!

i could have sworn that the autopsy showed that he choked on a wiener from 2003.

 

[BlackDragon37]

Wife: Hi, did you eat?
Me: Did you eat?
Wife: Are you copying me?
Me: Are you copying me?
Wife: I love you!
Me: Yes, I already ate.

 

[BlackDragon37]

What did the letter O say to Q?

Dude, your dick is hanging out.

 

[BlackDragon37]

If there did happen to be another major terrorist attack on the anniversary of 9/11, what would it be called?

9/11 2: Return of the Jihadi?