BlackDragon37
[12] Conqueror
Reports coming in that Santa was 20 mins early yesterday as he didn't have to stop in Connecticut for long.
Jokes thread
- Thread starter Blade_edge
- Start date
BlackDragon37
[12] Conqueror
"Excuse me," I said to the woman sat in front of me on the bus, "You have some semen on the back of your jacket."
"I'm sure it's not semen," she said. "It's probably yoghurt."
"It's definitely semen," I replied. "I don't ejaculate yoghurt."
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I've eaten so much over this Christmas period that I needed a midwife to help me take a shit.
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"So, Rihanna, why are you getting back with Chris Brown?"
"I don't know, beats me."
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I'm not saying my girlfriend's fat, but the first time she tried pole dancing, she snapped the pole and ended up taking all the fucking phone lines down with her.
"I'm sure it's not semen," she said. "It's probably yoghurt."
"It's definitely semen," I replied. "I don't ejaculate yoghurt."
---
I've eaten so much over this Christmas period that I needed a midwife to help me take a shit.
---
"So, Rihanna, why are you getting back with Chris Brown?"
"I don't know, beats me."
---
I'm not saying my girlfriend's fat, but the first time she tried pole dancing, she snapped the pole and ended up taking all the fucking phone lines down with her.
BlackDragon37
[12] Conqueror
I'm honestly convinced some women do not fart.
They just hold it in, and it comes out as drama.
---
What's a necrophiliac's favourite position?
Decomposition.
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Louis Walsh has stared into more Japs eyes than Godzilla.
They just hold it in, and it comes out as drama.
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What's a necrophiliac's favourite position?
Decomposition.
---
Louis Walsh has stared into more Japs eyes than Godzilla.
OneManjiArmy
[10] Knight
*At another forum*
-War Z gets pulled off of steam-
Person 1: Yea, rule number 1- Don't f**k with gamers!
Person 2: Thats rule 1? Thats why most of us havent gotten laid yet
-War Z gets pulled off of steam-
Person 1: Yea, rule number 1- Don't f**k with gamers!
Person 2: Thats rule 1? Thats why most of us havent gotten laid yet
BlackDragon37
[12] Conqueror
Jerry Roberts, a member of Testery Section at Bletchley Park that broke the Tunny Code shortening World War II by two years saving millions of lives has been given an MBE, whereas the irritating Cherie Blair got the higher CBE.
A statement has been issued by Bletchley Park: NGFUCKI GRACEDIS
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I was just trying to explain to my 3 year old cousin why my dog is a 'her' not a 'him'.
Now my fingers smell and everyone's crying.
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Can you imagine a world with no sex? A world where you have to do everything for yourself? Where everything you say results in tears and arguing? And in that world you had to pretend to be delighted?
Well that world exists.
Just get your wife pregnant.
A statement has been issued by Bletchley Park: NGFUCKI GRACEDIS
---
I was just trying to explain to my 3 year old cousin why my dog is a 'her' not a 'him'.
Now my fingers smell and everyone's crying.
---
Can you imagine a world with no sex? A world where you have to do everything for yourself? Where everything you say results in tears and arguing? And in that world you had to pretend to be delighted?
Well that world exists.
Just get your wife pregnant.