Jokes thread

[Dakota Racine]

Did you hear about the guy with no dick that ejaculated? He just came out of no-where!

Another stupid one, how do you make an octopus laugh? A: Ten-tickles.

 

[BlackDragon37]

I can't believe North Korea are now threatening Japan with nukes.

They're still squinting from the last two.
---

A church spokesman has condemned the celebrations of Margaret Thatcher's death, adding that death should never be a cause for celebration.

"We'll discuss that further next Easter," came the response.

 

[BlackDragon37]

The gossip mags are reporting Rihanna has broken up with Chris Brown after she caught him cheating with a waitress.

A source close to the couple says Rihanna knew something was up when Brown came home with another woman's lipstick on his knuckles.
---

Sweet irony.

Just heard that Thatcher's funeral is to be delayed as the bin men are on strike.

 

[BlackDragon37]

Eleven meerkats are killed in a fire at a West Lothian zoo.

Can we assume that they were well insured?
---

Thatcher this, Thatcher that, Thatcher the other...

I do believe I've reached Thatcheration point!

 

[BlackDragon37]

Too soon here:

Spoiler

Justin Bieber is said to be just devastated to hear the news on the Boston marathon, but hopes that everyone involved are fans.
---

I think people will understand this time if Paula Radcliffe shat herself while running a marathon.
---

So I hear the Boston Marathon was won by a nose..... an ear and a finger.
---

To all the runners who told me I should quit smoking...

Who's smoking now?
---

I was in Boston today and it was horrific. There were huge, shapeless chunks of flesh all over the place, it was enough to make you sick...

... and then the bomb went off.
---

1773 - Boston Tea Party.

2013 - Boston TNT Party.
---

Really sad to hear the news about the Boston explosion.

We'll have to do some sort of event to raise money for those affected.
---

A little exercise never hurt anyone...

Until now.