Jokes thread

[BlackDragon37]

Men would pay more attention to feminist's protests if those chicks had bigger tits.

 

[BlackDragon37]

How can Piers Morgan lie with a straight face?

He practised in the Mirror.
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Why all the outrage at the British Gas price increase?

You can't tell me another company that's doing more to combat global warming.

 

[BlackDragon37]

I smiled at the checkout girl and said, "Has anybody told you how gorgeous you look today?"

"No", she giggled.

"Well, if they do", I replied, "will you please send them to my Specsavers shop next door?"
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Kate McCann: "Reading to the twins at bedtime is so very hard for Gerry and I."

I'll bet. Getting your stories straight must be a bitch.
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I bought Alex Ferguson's autobiography.

I thought I'd got to the end but six more pages appeared.

 

[K0rN_b4LL]

Reality TV star Mama June, who is the mother of Honey Boo Boo, revealed that she has lost more than 100 pounds in the past year without surgery, dieting, or going to the gym.

I have to admit, I thought the only way she'd ever lose 100 pounds is in a custody battle.

 

[Tenchi8]

You don't know true fear until you walk in on someone using your laptop without your permission. XD