BlackDragon37
[12] Conqueror
Parents are worried about two things these days:
1. What their sons download.
2. What their daughters upload.
1. What their sons download.
2. What their daughters upload.
Jokes thread
- Thread starter Blade_edge
- Start date
BlackDragon37
[12] Conqueror
Semen rubbed into your face makes you look younger...
... Doesn't it, Cliff?
---
By all means attend the birth of your child, but do not head down towards the business end of the birth.
It's like watching your favourite pub go up in flames.
... Doesn't it, Cliff?
---
By all means attend the birth of your child, but do not head down towards the business end of the birth.
It's like watching your favourite pub go up in flames.
BlackDragon37
[12] Conqueror
Scientists in Japan say that by the end of this year they're going to be growing human organs in pigs and transplanting them into humans.
The irony's obviously lost on them.
They're going to give you a new heart grown in a pig to replace the old one which got clogged up from eating too much bacon and sausage.
---
It seems like that we will soon be able to grow hearts for transplants grown in pigs.
Muslim? Serious heart defect and dying? Oh dear, you can't have one.
---
Hitler may have killed 6 million Jews, but he sure as fucking hell saved the History channel.
---
My parents always used to sit and listen to Cliff Richard when I was younger.
Instead of actually coming in my room and stopping him.
The irony's obviously lost on them.
They're going to give you a new heart grown in a pig to replace the old one which got clogged up from eating too much bacon and sausage.
---
It seems like that we will soon be able to grow hearts for transplants grown in pigs.
Muslim? Serious heart defect and dying? Oh dear, you can't have one.
---
Hitler may have killed 6 million Jews, but he sure as fucking hell saved the History channel.
---
My parents always used to sit and listen to Cliff Richard when I was younger.
Instead of actually coming in my room and stopping him.
BlackDragon37
[12] Conqueror
What type of grapes do Indians like?
Gangrapes.
---
Julian Assange has had two years to come up with a good disguise, and all he's done is grow a beard.
He needs to take some lessons from Frank Maloney.
---
Cilla Black: "Cliff Richard never tried anything on with me"
Of course he didn't:
1) You're a woman.
2) You're 70 years too old for him.
3) You look like a ginger horse sucking a lemon.
---
What's the difference between Mark Knopfler and Cliff Richard?
One's in Dire Straits. The other's in deep shit.
---
Piers Morgan has taken a very strong stance against guns, and who can blame him?
If you had a gun, you'd shoot him too.
---
If you're going to diagnose yourself with OCD, how many times do you have to do that to be sure?
---
Last year the police received around one million calls regarding domestic abuse which means potentially 1 in 30 women are being abused. This is a terrifying statistic as it means potentially 29 in 30 women don't know their place.
---
Tulisa is set to rejoin X Factor this year helping Louis Walsh out.
I would have thought she was sick of seeing judges this year.
---
News just in: Recent rioting in Ferguson USA is just a viral marketing campaign for the new Planet of the Apes film.
---
What would happen to Pinocchio's nose if he said, "My nose will now grow"?
---
So MMA fighter War Machine assaulted his porn star ex-girlfriend Christy Mack after finding her in bed with another man.
If you think about it, technically they were both just doing their job.
Gangrapes.
---
Julian Assange has had two years to come up with a good disguise, and all he's done is grow a beard.
He needs to take some lessons from Frank Maloney.
---
Cilla Black: "Cliff Richard never tried anything on with me"
Of course he didn't:
1) You're a woman.
2) You're 70 years too old for him.
3) You look like a ginger horse sucking a lemon.
---
What's the difference between Mark Knopfler and Cliff Richard?
One's in Dire Straits. The other's in deep shit.
---
Piers Morgan has taken a very strong stance against guns, and who can blame him?
If you had a gun, you'd shoot him too.
---
If you're going to diagnose yourself with OCD, how many times do you have to do that to be sure?
---
Last year the police received around one million calls regarding domestic abuse which means potentially 1 in 30 women are being abused. This is a terrifying statistic as it means potentially 29 in 30 women don't know their place.
---
Tulisa is set to rejoin X Factor this year helping Louis Walsh out.
I would have thought she was sick of seeing judges this year.
---
News just in: Recent rioting in Ferguson USA is just a viral marketing campaign for the new Planet of the Apes film.
---
What would happen to Pinocchio's nose if he said, "My nose will now grow"?
---
So MMA fighter War Machine assaulted his porn star ex-girlfriend Christy Mack after finding her in bed with another man.
If you think about it, technically they were both just doing their job.