BlackDragon37
[12] Conqueror
Comic and former psychiatric nurse Jo Brand has accused The X Factor and Britain's Got Talent of exploiting people with mental health problems.
The viewers, mainly.
The viewers, mainly.
Jokes thread
- Thread starter Blade_edge
- Start date
BlackDragon37
[12] Conqueror
WH Smith - they charge a penny for a bag because they are trying to be 'environmentally friendly', then they give you a whole trees worth of receipts and special offer vouchers.
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Tempted to poke holes in my dad's condoms so someone else can do the fucking washing up.
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Scientists have finally agreed that the closest we will ever get to perpetual motion is the Palestine/Israeli conflict.
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The first rule of Thesaurus Club is, you don't talk about, mention, speak of, discuss or chat about Thesaurus Club.
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If I pull a stupid face when I cum, is there a split second when a spastic cums that they pull a normal face?
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Tempted to poke holes in my dad's condoms so someone else can do the fucking washing up.
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Scientists have finally agreed that the closest we will ever get to perpetual motion is the Palestine/Israeli conflict.
---
The first rule of Thesaurus Club is, you don't talk about, mention, speak of, discuss or chat about Thesaurus Club.
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If I pull a stupid face when I cum, is there a split second when a spastic cums that they pull a normal face?
K0rN_b4LL
[14] Master
Father: You took my daughter's virginity!!!
Boyfriend: I'm sorry sir. I promise, it won't happen again.
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Four men are talking at their high school reunion. One of them heads to the bathroom while the other three talk about how successful their sons are.
Guy 1: My son is so successful he owns a car dealership and just gave his best friend a Ferrari.
Guy 2: That's nothing. My son is so successful he owns an airline and have his best friend a private jet.
Guy 3: That's still nothing. My son is so successful he owns an architecture firm and gave his best friend a mansion.
The fourth guy comes back from the bathroom...
Guy 4: What are you guys talking about?
Guy 1: We were talking about how successful our sons are.
Guy 4: My gay son is so successful he got a Ferrari, a private jet, and a mansion from his three boyfriends!
Boyfriend: I'm sorry sir. I promise, it won't happen again.
---
Four men are talking at their high school reunion. One of them heads to the bathroom while the other three talk about how successful their sons are.
Guy 1: My son is so successful he owns a car dealership and just gave his best friend a Ferrari.
Guy 2: That's nothing. My son is so successful he owns an airline and have his best friend a private jet.
Guy 3: That's still nothing. My son is so successful he owns an architecture firm and gave his best friend a mansion.
The fourth guy comes back from the bathroom...
Guy 4: What are you guys talking about?
Guy 1: We were talking about how successful our sons are.
Guy 4: My gay son is so successful he got a Ferrari, a private jet, and a mansion from his three boyfriends!
BlackDragon37
[12] Conqueror
I've just read that actor Orlando Bloom punched Justin Bieber last night during an argument at a nightclub in Spain.
Orlando complained that his hand was pretty sore today.
Apparently the entire nightclub had queued up to high-five him.
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For anyone unclear with who Orlando Bloom and Justin Bieber are here is a brief description.
Orlando Bloom is a 37 year old English actor best known for his roles in The Lord Of The Rings trilogy and Pirates Of The Caribbean. He also had roles in the award wining films 'Black Hawk Down', 'Troy' and 'Kingdom of Heaven'
And Justin Bieber is a cunt.
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When the inventor of the USB stick dies they'll gently lower the coffin, then pull it back up, turn it the other way, then lower it again.
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I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realised people just don't like spending time with me.
Orlando complained that his hand was pretty sore today.
Apparently the entire nightclub had queued up to high-five him.
---
For anyone unclear with who Orlando Bloom and Justin Bieber are here is a brief description.
Orlando Bloom is a 37 year old English actor best known for his roles in The Lord Of The Rings trilogy and Pirates Of The Caribbean. He also had roles in the award wining films 'Black Hawk Down', 'Troy' and 'Kingdom of Heaven'
And Justin Bieber is a cunt.
---
When the inventor of the USB stick dies they'll gently lower the coffin, then pull it back up, turn it the other way, then lower it again.
---
I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realised people just don't like spending time with me.