Jokes thread

I was talking to a bird in a bar last night and I asked, what does she do for living.

"I'm a scientist."

I was really impressed.

Most women can't pull off sarcasm.
 
If we don't meet any women at the bar my friend always wants to go to the strip club.

I don't understand that. Its like going fishing, not catching anything, and then saying "Hey, let's go to the aquarium!"
 
With the European Pharmecutical Company refusing to sell and the supply of lethal injection drugs beginning to run out, some states are returning to the electric chair.

To encourage public support political think tank wordsmiths are telling politicians to refer to it as "Empowering Minorities."
 
What's the difference between an egg and Elliot Rodger?

An egg gets laid before it cracks.
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Do people smoke e-cigarettes after sexting?
 
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