So I purchased a Jerry Sandusky costume for Halloween this year, but to my dismay, I found the costume to be too small upon its arrival. It was very disappointing. I couldn't wear it. The thing was so small, it was like it was for fucking kids, or something!
A young man is out on his own in the city for the first time. He's not very attractive or social so he gets himself his first prostitute. They get in bed and when he tries to penetrate it feels like sticking his dick in a sleeve of broken glass. She immediately notices his discomfort and jumps up. "Oh my God! I can't believe I forgot". She runs to the bathroom and is only gone a few moments before she returns and he tries again. This time it's wet, silky and everything he hoped it would be. "This feels so good! What did you do?" he asks.
A World War II pilot is reminiscing before school children about his days in the air force. (Joke best delivered with a good thick accent)
"In 1942," he says, "da situation was really tough. Da Germans had a very strong air force. I remember, " he continues, "one day I was protectin' the bombers and suddenly, outta da clouds, dese fokkers appeared.
(At this point, several of the children giggle.)
I looked up, and right above me was one of 'em. I aimed at him and shot dat fokker right down. Dey was swarmin'. Den I realized that dere was anudder fokker right behind me."
At this instant the girls in the auditorium start to giggle and boys start to laugh.
The teacher stands up and says, "I think I should point out that 'Fokker' was the name of the German-Dutch aircraft company"
"Dat's true, dat's true," says the pilot, "but dese fokkers was flyin' Messerschmidts."
