Jokes thread

The internet is at is again. There were rumors that Justin Bieber would replace Paul Walker in the next Fast and Furious movie.
http://www.idesigntimes.com/article...ing-paul-walker-fast-furious-7-death-dies.htm


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Why did God create women?

Because hopes and dreams don't crush themselves.
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Show me a man who calls himself a vegan, and I'll show you a man who's trying to shag a vegan.
 
MTV has cancelled "Teen Mom."

I guess at least MTV knows when to pull out.

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He knows when you are sleeping,

He knows when you're awake,

He knows when you've been bad or good,

so welcome the new director of the NSA.


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RFA radio conversation:

Argentinian Air Defense Site-
"Unknown aircraft you are in Argentinian Airspace Identify"

Aircraft-
"This is a British Aircraft I am in Falkland Airspace"

Argentinian Air Defense Site-
"You are in Argentinian Airspace; if you do not depart our Airspace we will launch interceptor aircraft"

Aircraft-
"This is a Royal Air Force Tornado Fighter Aircraft send them up I'll wait"

Argentinian Air Defense Site-
(total silence)

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My dad found out I had an imaginary girlfriend.

He said, "You know, you could do better."

"Thanks dad, that means a lot," I replied.

"I was talking to your girlfriend."
 
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